Donald Trump, Poet Extraordinaire
Editor’s note: Commentators are expressing concern about a Time cover story by Eric Cortellessa in which our commander in chief’s mind appears to wander. Maybe, they’re saying, the old bird is losing his marbles.
But we’ve been through this before. What Trump Derangement Syndrome–addled philistines fail to grasp is that our president is a poet. As Trump explained two years ago, he applies a rhetorical technique called “the weave,” about which “friends of mine that are, like English professors, they say, ‘It’s the most brilliant thing I’ve ever seen.’”
In October 2024, we published a digital chapbook of these Trump weavings as found verse, drawing from the campaign trail. Here we publish a sequel, drawing this time from the Time transcript.
MSDNC
I do respect the free press
But I don’t respect fake news.
I’ll give you an example.
CNN and MSDNC—
Which is MS NOW—
They changed the name because it does so poorly.
But I won the election. I won it handily
By massive numbers.
I won the popular vote.
I won all seven swing states.
They said if you won three swing states,
I won all seven.
I won the counties.
It’s very important,
86 percent popular vote.
Everything, and very conclusively,
I haven’t had a good story
On CNN
For years.
Kaitlan Collins: A Blazon
So at a certain point
You say,:
“What’s the purpose of like this crazy Kaitlan Collins?”
She’s a very average person.
She’s the most unhappy young person
I’ve ever seen.
Saudi Arabia
I’ve done a lot for
Saudi Arabia.
I protect
Saudi Arabia.
If I weren’t president
Saudi Arabia
Wouldn’t be here right now.
Neither would Israel.
They’d be wiped off the face of the planet.
I do a lot for
Saudi Arabia.
My relationship with them
Is very good.
I like the crown prince.
My relationship
Is very good.
But remember:
If I weren’t here,
There wouldn’t be a
Saudi Arabia.
There wouldn’t be an
Israel.
There wouldn’t be
Various other countries also.
Song of Himself
I have the highest.
I’m fine, and I understand that stuff.
You know, my uncle was at MIT for 41 years,
And you know, I’m a—
I believe in genetics, frankly
And I understand.
I understand it much more than I think
Any president would, because I do have
An ability
On this.
I have an ability
On those things
That were the new frontiers.
What I’ve done is
I’ve created
For instance, these massive plants have no—
We have no electricity in our grid.
A Disgusting Mess
And I say:
“What are you guys looking at?”
“Sir, we think the Oval Office should be taken down
And we’ll build a new one, sir.”
I said: “My ass,
You can’t build
A new one.
This is a special place.”
The cabinet room too, which I also think—
Show them the cabinet room when they go out, okay.
The cabinet room’s gorgeous.
That was a mess.
It was a disgusting
Mess.
This whole place was
A disgusting mess
And now
It’s perfect.
But Joe didn’t do it.
